It was a watch that could almost everything. It could Wake me up, count down the last seconds of boring class at school, and glow in the dark with a bright blue light. Every kid wanted to have a watch like that and I was one of lucky ones who owned it. It totally amazed me with something else too. I could listen to the tunes it played for hours. I was seven at that time, and there were seven melodies. Today I’m forty-two and I’m trying to dig deeper into my memory. Of course not to the moment I was born. How could I remember my bitrh? You weren’t at the hospital. That much I know from my mom.
I think it would have worked better if you had disappeared for good. Those things happen. You wouldn’t be the first or the last one who legged it. Things turned differently and I doubt that you planned it that way. It was sad to watch how it all got out of control for you. Perhaps I should have told you that it’s all right, that I wasn’t mad at you. Maybe then you would put your shit together. Shame you never asked. There were moments when you could.
The end came sooner than I expected but I can’t say that it surprised me though. The truth is you killed yourself. Police report says that it was a quick death. No third party involved. I was going trough this report driven by curiosity, which outran the pain. I was in serach for the answers of my own questions. I think I found something interesting in the section relating to post-mortem. Maybe it is a false lead, this I don’t know. But I will cling on to it. The extract is as follows:
HEART. The dimension of the heart are 10x9x6 cm. The pericardium and epicardium are smooth, shiny, and most. The left ventricular wall is 1.2 cm trick, and the right Wall is 0.3 cm thick. The cross-section of the cardiac muscle is dark red in colour with the fibre structure preserved and fine, scattered, grey foci having a blurred structure in the left ventricular wall. The endocardium is smooth, thin, and flexible.
Thanks for the watch father.